It was January 2019. I was living in a Nepalese homestay with about 10 other volunteers from around the world. None of us knew each other before living together, and in fact, I didn’t talk to anyone before arriving. I showed up to an unfamiliar house filled with people I had never met in a foreign country and unpacked my suitcase for a 4-week stay. I look back at that version of myself and think how badass that was. It didn’t dawn on me until I strolled into the orientation meeting a full day late (thanks to a headache of a traveling journey) that I didn’t know a single person, yet for some reason, even from the beginning, they never felt like strangers.
After being briefed about safety rules, house rules, project rules— all the rules— we got our room assignments. I was paired up with a 28 year old woman who was from London. From the first moment I met her, I enjoyed her infectious, bubbly energy, even if I had to ask her to explain what she meant time and time again. We both spoke English, but at times, we spoke different languages. It was the first time I had been around someone who used words like “loo” for “bathroom” and “chips” for “fries” on a consistent basis.
Regardless, she was the kind of person who I clicked with from the get go. We were from two different continents, with two totally different agendas and directions, but we had both come to Nepal to volunteer for 4 weeks at the same time. That alone was reason enough for me to assume we had more in common than what met the eye.
In January 2019, when I arrived in Nepal, I was freshly 22 years old. I graduated a semester early from college a month prior and had turned 22 at the end of December 2018. At that point in time, I felt limitless. I was young. I was traveling on my own. I had a new degree under my belt. I had a job lined up for August of that year. I was planning on moving to Boston with my best friend. I truly felt like the world was right at my fingertips. It felt incredible to be young yet accomplished as well as on the brink of the next chapter of my life. Life was so damn good.
However, at 22 years old, life should feel that way. If I were feeling anything but on top of the world, there would have been a problem. I had every reason to relish in my own euphoria. And I did.
That is, until, my roommate came and distorted the shit out of my perspective.
~
As I previously mentioned, my roommate was a 28 year old woman from London. When I found out she was 28, I unintentionally, hardcore judged her. It was an automatic reaction. One that I was very aware of and very appalled by, yet I couldn’t deny that learning her age made me think, “28? What are you doing here?”
As if volunteering internationally is only for accomplished newly grads waiting for their “real life” to begin.
Anyway, the judgement didn’t stop there. My roommate told me that she had quit her fashion job back in London before coming to Nepal. She went on to explain that Nepal was the first stop on her 5 month backpacking trip. Yes, that’s right. She was nearing 30 years old and was on a solo escapade around the globe without planning to work for a single day. At that age, I had never met anyone who had backpacked before. I had only heard of people backpacking through the pages of books or on the TV, and I especially had never heard of a girl backpacking by herself for half a year. The thought quite literally blew my mind.
It didn’t just blow my mind, though. My judgmental, American-influenced brain couldn’t grasp the irresponsibility of her actions. When she detailed her plans to me, I thought to myself, “Wow, I am so glad I’m doing this now so that I don’t have to do this later.”
When I was 22, I thought, for sure, no questions asked, that I would be living the “typical” life by 28. It was never even a thought in my head that my life would look different from the “norm”.
Hearing her backpacking plans made me think:
You mean you’re not knee-deep in a successful career, bogged down with climbing the ladder?
You mean you don’t have a ring on your finger, and you’re not madly in love with the man you’re gonna spend forever with?
You mean you’re not expecting a child or planning for a family even though you’re so close to entering your… 30s?
It was only when I met my roommate from Nepal that I questioned why I held onto those beliefs so tightly. Why did I think it was SO radical and absurd for a woman in her late twenties to travel for as long as she pleased? You’d think she had told me she was going to the moon without a space suit and had hand-crafting her own rocket in the basement of her parents’ house. Needless to say, my own thoughts disturbed me.
But as the days ticked by, I got to know my roommate more. We would get into our twin sized beds in the coldest room ever and talk about our lives until the wee hours of the night. We would head to the lake after working on project all day and drink a beer together while chatting about everything under the sun. We spent a lot of time together within the 4-week timeframe we were in Nepal. From trying out new cafes, playing board games we had never heard of before, eating every meal together in the kitchen of our homestay, and exploring our little city on the weekends, we got to know each other pretty quickly.
And after getting to know her, learning more about her family, her background, her life at home in London, after spending so much time with her and becoming friends, my perspective completely changed. I went from, “I’m judging you hardcore,” to “I admire the shit out of you.”
~
Today, I’m 25 years old, and I’ve been living in Italy for the last two months. Had I followed the projection I set for myself at 22 years old, today, I would have every reason to be miserable and depressed. Nothing I thought I wanted and loved at 22 holds true today. Not the career I was embarking on. Not the city I was planning to move to. Not the degree I had just obtained. None of that impresses me anymore. None of that is what I want.
I’m less than 3 years away from 28 years old. I’m a lot closer to my 30s now than I was back then. I have no clue what the rest of my twenties will look like, but I can promise you that if I get to 28 and all I have planned is a 5 month solo backpacking trip around the world, I will be sure to remind myself, “You are still limitless.”
~
I challenge you to release the boundaries you have on your future. Focus on what feels good, what fuels your soul, what makes you happy, what lights you on fire, and run (walk on some days, rest on others), towards what looks good on YOU— not what looks good one everyone else. If your path looks different, own that shit.
Comentários