Perhaps I’m in the minority here, but the word “balance” has never sat well with me… like, ever.
I don’t have a good relationship with that word, and I’ve known that for years. It’s always slightly rubbed me the wrong way, but for the longest time, I chalked up my distaste to the fact that balance felt like it was synonymous with “highly unattainable”.
Which, I still believe. I’m still one to think that balance is one of those things we all try to strive for (that is, if you’re working on yourself), but it wasn’t until recently that I realized… there’s a lot more to “balance” than what I originally thought.
It hit me not that long ago, that:
“Balance” sneakily conceals the word “perfection”—my arch nemesis.
Let me break it down for you.
The word “balance” promotes a state of equilibrium, right? This is in check with that. That is in check with this. Everything is… balanced.
But that sounds like something else I am all too familiar with. Something I have been repelling and working to distort since I’ve been aware of it. That being my perfectionist mentality.
Perfection, at least in my books, looks a whole lot like balance. A whole lot like juggling everything “just so” in a way that is highly unachievable.
We always hear this word “balance”, but I have a theory that pushing the agenda of balance is doing more harm than good because ultimately, balance is the “ideal” state of being. It is the utopia. “Utopia” and “ideal” have “perfection” in their definition. You can look that up for proof.
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Most people can’t obtain balance even though we preach it in every facet of life, and the failure to find equilibrium brings on an onslaught of derails that, I think, are just as damaging as striving for perfection.
“So, what’s the solution, Taylor? You tell me ‘balance is bogus’, so what do you suggest doing?”
I’m glad you asked.
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I think balance is a lot more long-term than we think it is and instead of trying to find the “sweet spot” that feels good for a little while but impossible to maintain, maybe what we should do is focus on seasonality.
I moved out to Utah in November of 2020 solely because I had a desire to shake up my life and be immersed in nature. That’s it. I wanted something new, and I wanted something to be in awe of. When I first went out there, I was blown.away. Like blown out of the water, away. That state is genuinely one of if not the most beautiful places I’ve ever been, and still to this day, I dream about being on a Wasatch mountain, in a national park, amongst the beauty in a desolate desert.
In short, Utah taught me the most valuable lesson I think a place has ever taught me: nature is something we should not only learn from but also emulate.
What do I mean?
The world is not “balanced”.
We have hot summers and cold winters. You won’t find heat in the thick of January, and you won’t find snow in the middle of July. At least not where I live.
The seasons only last oh so long, and then, things change. It’s only after a full year, that you experience all types of weather and temperatures. Hot summers, cold winters, cool falls, warm springs.
We are the same.
We experience different seasons of life. Some are full of work, some are full of play, some are full of learning lessons, some are full of heartache, some are full of blissful love.
We are not separate from nature. It is not nature vs. humans. It is nature 🤝 humans.
I don’t necessarily think we have to strive for balance as much as we think we do, not only because balance is really just a coverup for “perfectionism” but because nature serves abundantly when it’s deep in its phases of seasonality.
If you’re still a bit lost, let me drive this point home:
We’ve been asked to balance a lot, haven’t we? Balance work and play, friends and family, the food on our plate, our time inside vs. out, time with ourselves and the world, our emotional well-beings, our physical well-beings, you name it, it should be balanced according to… what?
The bottom line is we become so overwhelmed with the idea of striking the right balance that we end up doing more damage than if we just learned how to manage our seasons.
In the long run, it will all balance out, but I don’t necessarily think we have to intervene as extremely as we do. I think we have to be more mindful of allowing our seasons to teach us what they’re suppose to and being more comfortable with change when one season gives way to the next.
That’s my answer.
I suggest finding the reason in the season and how to rearrange in the change.
Disclaimer: Some people strictly live in cold climates, some live in hot ones, some live in changing climates. This one’s for the people living in changing climates.
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