My sister will laugh at me for writing this, but Marisa— let me just have this one, okay?
A week and a half ago, I was in my friend’s kitchen, talking about the night we had planned ahead of us. It was a Friday afternoon, the sun was shining, and in a few hours, we would be surrounded by good company.
It was a good day, if you ask me.
I was sitting at the kitchen table when I happened to look down at my phone and notice my sister texted me. I opened up the message, immediately replied, and when I read her response, every hair on my body stood straight up.
It was the sign I had been waiting (okay, more like begging) for.
“For what?” you ask?
Let me rewind.
For anyone who doesn’t know, I’ve been unemployed for what feels like my whole life. Unemployment is not all it’s cracked up to be. I have absolutely no regrets about leaving my data analyst job, but I also would do juuuuust about anything to start working again.
Except that last sentence comes with a few ***
Those being: I will not revert and take a data analyst position just because I have experience doing that, and I will not take a job that offers good money but is unaligned to my interests. So, yes, I will do just about anything for a shot at a job, but I will look right past it if that means denying all the work I’ve done and patience I’ve cultivated over the last 8 months. I may be desperate, but I’m only desperate for the right thing.
So, to go back to my previous point, unemployment is not all it’s cracked up to be. Aside from the fact that I’m scrapping pennies and dimes off the floor of my car (not really but I’m almost there), unemployment means you have more time on your hands than you know what to do with.
For the first few weeks and months, I loved it. I felt so free. I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to. I remember it was the weirdest feeling being able to go to a store at 11am and the gym at 1pm. I would drive around and think, “Wow, I forgot there was a world full of people who go out and about during the hours of 9-5.”
However, that feeling of complete freedom eventually waned, but my freedom didn’t go anywhere— just the feeling did. After some time, anxiety started kicking in, and I found myself thinking about all the time I was wasting. It’s really strange; this ability to feel the same thing in opposite situations. When I was working full-time, I felt like I was wasting my time doing something I really disliked. And while unemployed, (at times) I have felt like I’ve wasted my time not working.
After so many days, weeks, and months of feeling like an under-utilized member of society, I felt like I was reaching my breaking point. On Tuesday, August 3rd, (yes, I know the specific date) I fell asleep literally begging the universe to give me a sign that it was all going to be worth it. That the heaviness and block would soon be lifted because it has been so hard trying to stay positive and constantly reassure myself that I’m on the right path. I got to a point where I was pleading with God and said out loud, “please give me a sign,” moments before falling asleep.
That coming Friday, August 6th, my sister attended a farmers market. She’s been working at various ones all summer.
At this particular market, my sister was at her booth, selling her product (plugging Wash Naturals Body Scrub) when a woman walked up to her and said, “Hi, I know this is random, but I’m a psychic medium, and I am being told to tell you to tell the girl in your life who is blocked and lost, that it’s coming to an end soon.”
Friday afternoon, when I got that text from my sister, I thanked the universe for listening.
That brings me to the following Monday morning. I got an email from a recruiter asking if I would be interested in setting up time to talk about a Content Writing Internship that has the potential to turn into full-time work.
You may be thinking that I’m “too old” for an internship or that “potential for full-time” doesn’t sound like the most solid option out there, but when you’ve been waiting 8 months to land something that’s aligned to your interests and strengths, written more cover letters and resumes than you can count, and have dished out a lot of free content just to build your portfolio, you do not overlook an opportunity that literally falls in your lap.
After 8 long, hard months of reminding myself that I would eventually be noticed, I can finally say that I am, to some degree, a Content Writer :)
For anyone who is doing the hard work, you have to stay committed to your vision and goal no matter what. Do not lose sight of what you want, regardless of how far away you feel from it. You don’t have to know how you’re going to get there or even where you’re going, but you must know why. Hold onto that “why”, and when you get to the end of your rope, when it feels too challenging to keep going, lean into the uncomfortable feelings and push past them.
What is meant for you will find its way to you.
I’ll say it again: What is meant for you will find its way to you.
The work I've been doing is definitely not over, but for the first time in a very long time, I can rest assured that what's behind me is staying there and what's ahead is already on its way.
So, keep going. Wherever you are on your journey, keep going. You never know when what you've been wishing for is right around the corner.
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