I’m going to tell you a story that only adds up in retrospect. Each piece of the puzzle may feel unrelated and insignificant, but they are anything but.
For starters, if you’re new here, I want to make it abundantly clear I have dedicated the last two years of my life strengthening the connection I have to my intuition. My consistent commitment to getting back in tune with my intuition is the only backing for why I can confidently proclaim everything I’m about to describe to you.
One who has no insight into this dedication of mine would merely assume the story is rooted in coincidence; however, it is evident of an interconnectedness I have come to understand by continuously believing: the deeper you trust, the less you have to try.
Make yourself comfortable. This is going to be one hell of a ride.
Let me bring you back to December 5, 2022.
I woke up bright and early after a very wild dream the night before. I typically have detailed, vivid dreams, so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for me to have such a cinematic dream, but it was one that felt like it meant something more.
In my dream, I was at a movie theater with a crowd full of people. We were all told to make ourselves comfortable and relaxed. We were wearing pjs, had blankets on our laps, and were in reclining chairs with our feet propped up. It looked more like a group sleepover than a movie theater, but it was all very normal in the dream.
I remember we were each handed a pill. Told to put it in our mouths and swallow it after the instructions were given. A shaman (if you will) mentioned as soon as we ingested the pill, we’d enter a dream state. He told us the effect of the drug would wear off within 10-20 minutes, and when we’d wake up, we would be able to descriptively recall the events that unfolded in our “dream”.
Next thing I knew, I was “dreaming”.
Everything was pitch black. I couldn’t see anything except for a fluorescent, bright star. That was my entire “dream”. Pitch black midnight sky and a bright shining star.
After 10 or so minutes, we all woke up.
Everyone started talking about their dream. How vivid they were. How detailed. They described them like you would a movie. With a cast list, a setting, a plot line—the whole shabang.
Immediately, I retracted from the conversations taking place. I had nothing to add. My dream was a bunch of nothingness. Why wasn’t mine like theirs? Why didn’t anything of sustenance happen? How was I the only one in a room full of people to have had such a lackluster experience?
After that, my real dream ended, and I woke up knowing that the dream within my dream was relevant. It was important. It had meaning.
~
It’s now December 5th, Monday morning. I wake up to a message from one of the clients I freelance write for, telling me they have to start cutting costs, which meant they were going to scale back on a few of my tasks.
It just so happens the tasks they pulled generated the bulk of my income, which immediately, sent me into a frenzy.
I started thinking: “Why do I put myself through this kind of stress? I don’t even love freelancing anymore. It’s not what I want to do forever. I need to consider other options.”
The name of the freelance game is precisely what I just detailed. You have to expect clients to come and expect them to go. For good times to strike and for bad times to strike even harder.
But, I was just over it that morning. My heart hadn’t been in it for a while, and I decided to start making changes.
So, I applied for a few jobs. One of them was with a travel agency. The other was with one of my dream teams.
I applied to both not really thinking much. I’ve been rejected from—I kid you not—countless jobs, gigs, and opportunities since I left my corporate job in 2021. I stopped keeping track after the 60th rejection (and that was a long time ago).
On top of my numbness to rejection, I also didn’t put much energy into either one. I had applied to my dream team multiple times in the past and never heard back. I wasn’t so sure this time would be any different, but I was willing to throw another piece of spaghetti at the wall because, well, why the fuck not?
It just so happens, a couple days later, I got an interview with the travel agency. A week after my first interview, I was offered a job. My territory was going to be the Middle East—Egypt, Jordan, and Israel. They were going to send me to three countries for a month to see things out there for myself. Get a feel for the hotels, excursions, restaurants, and cities I was going to be responsible for recommending to clients.
It was a really cool opportunity, if I do say so myself. A completely paid for month-stay in the Middle East? Being able to test out 5-star hotels and go places I’ve dreamt of going to? The Pyramids in Egypt, Petra in Jordan, Haifa in Israel?
Me?
I was elated I had the opportunity to do something I loved as my job—travel.
However… as the story goes…
A few days after that, I got an email from my dream team.
The email was simply a woman telling me she received my application, and should my experience match their qualifications, she’d be in contact with me at a later date.
I can’t quite explain it, but in that moment, I knew I was going to get the job. I hadn’t even gotten word I was being considered. I got one lousy email pretty much saying, “Thanks for applying! I have no news for you!” but something in me knew the job was mine. I just felt it.
Which isn’t what I ever feel, by the way. I’ve never felt what I did when I got the email from the team saying my application was received.
All I can really say is I was never stressed about getting the job. I didn’t other-think it. I wasn’t nervous about getting rejected. It was simply this deep underlying feeling of, “It’s already mine. I don’t need to worry.”
~
Fast forward a week later. I received another email asking me to fill out a screening for the position. I was being moved forward in the recruitment process.
At that point, I shed a healthy amount of tears. This is an opportunity I’ve been dreaming of for years. It didn’t matter in that moment if the job were actually going to be mine. I was being considered for it. That was a huge win in my books.
A week after that, I woke up on my 26th birthday to another email from my dream team. I had an interview.
It was the best birthday present I could have asked for. Further consideration? Me? Again, I didn’t care if I got the job. I had an opportunity to talk to my dream team. That was enough for me.
~
A lot of other things popped up for me over the course of this timeframe. I was offered more responsibility at an agency I already work with, I was offered more hours by another client, and my trip to a French chateau was confirmed for the middle of January. (I promise to tell you more about the chateau I’m currently writing from and my travels overall in an upcoming blog!)
It felt like the stars were aligning, and I now know, that’s because they were.
~
Let’s circle back to my dream team, though.
I’m typically a Nervous Nelly, especially when it comes to interviewing, but before my first interview with the team, I was confident. I was ready. I felt good. Of course it was an interview, a time they were taking to see if I were a good fit, but it already felt like I was part of the team.
Which was the exact tone of the entire 30 minutes I talked to them. High-spirits, positive vibes, good conversation.
Before the interview ended, I was reassured, “Just so you know, we’re moving you on to the next round.”
I closed my laptop a few minutes later, walked downstairs to my mom, and told her the news. She asked if I were happy. “I realllllly hope you get it!” is what she said.
“Mom, I will. It’s mine.”
~
I’ll spare you all the steps in between. On January 18th, after my second interview a few days earlier, I messaged the team telling them I had another job offer sitting on a tight time constraint, and if there were anyway my third interview could be scheduled earlier, that would be much appreciated.
I received an email an hour later asking me for my availability for the next three business days. I responded and waited for an answer.
And then, on January 19th, I got the email.
“Slight change in plans 😁 We think you'd be an amazing addition to the team and would like to offer you the role!”
They had foregone my third interview altogether and went ahead with offering me the position.
I sat at my desk in the chateau, on the northwestern coast of France, looked out the window, and thought about how deeply I had to trust myself to get where I am today.
~
It is with utmost joy I announce to you that I am officially joining Team Mel Robbins. A New York Times Bestselling author, the highest paid female motivational speaker in the entire world, a renowned TED Talk host, and just a cool-ass human all around. Mel Robbins is a beacon of light, and I am incredibly elated and honored to join her small but mighty team.
Three years ago Mel spoke at a women’s conference I attended, and I remember thinking to myself, “This woman is so cool. I love what she does.”
This woman changes lives. She inspires millions of people. I can’t think of anything more empowering than changing another human’s life, and she does it everyday.
That was the beginning of my fascination with her rhetoric, advice, wisdom, and spirit. I resonated with all of it so deeply.
Fast forward three years, and here I am today.
~
There are some moments in life when you feel things fall into place. When you exhale a sigh of relief for the stars aligning. When you can sit back for a minute and just bask in the light you have been following.
I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve fallen asleep over the course of the last two years wondering if I’d ever be in an environment that felt empowering, doing work that felt fulfilling, and surrounded by people who fueled me. I promised myself when I left my last job that I would make it my mission to follow what’s calling. To not lose sight of that fluorescent, bright light.
I’ve watched so many people’s lives play out in cinematic-style. Been a bystander throughout their accomplishments, their milestones, their hoo-rah moments, and have been swelled by joy for them.
And I’d tell myself over and over and over again I was on a midnight journey to destination: unknown. That I was not meant to live the way they lived. A shining North Star might seem measly when everyone else has a plot they’re following, but if one thing is true, it’s that I’ve never lost sight of that light. It wouldn’t let me if I tried.
~
I want to make it loud and clear my North Star has not stopped shining. I have not “made it” or stopped following it. If anything, this is just the beginning, and I am only briefly being rewarded for my consistent dedication to trusting the unknown.
But ladies and gentlemen, dreaming got me here.
Hoping.
Trying.
Believing.
Knowing.
I wouldn’t be where I am today had I not trusted myself in the thick of “delusion”, in the center of “impossibility”, in the path that looked “far-fetched”.
People who don’t see it—who can’t see it—will utter those words to you. Let them. It is never your job to communicate your path to others. It is only your job to follow your North Star in the midnight sky.
~
I have a whole slew of people to thank for blindly supporting me in my pursuits of, “Just please, trust me.” There are a few people who probably should have told me to go kick rocks while I’ve spent two years trying to build something worthwhile. Those people know who they are.
But, in the absence of vain, I need to thank the one person I have vowed to fight for.
My reflection in the mirror.
I owe it all to the undeniable life-force inching me forward. To that thing in me that’s never let me down.
~
I had so many set plans for 2023 before this all unfolded, and maybe in another life I would have been rattled by the upheaval taking place, but in this one, I’m strapping down for the ride to the moon. To that North Star of mine. Wherever it’s leading: I am on my way.
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