Silver Lining

“March 2020” feels like a cuss. That combination of letters and numbers exude negativity, so I apologize for even making you read it.

We all know what that’s a euphemism for. I hope I don’t have to spell it out.

In late March of last year, I sat in my apartment in Boston anxiously feeling the weight of the world coming down and thought, “there are so many people who will be affected by this in a way I’ll never be able to know or hear about.” That thought pained me. I imagined all my friends, family, and strangers barricaded in their homes letting the rampant virus run its course.

I simultaneously thought about how it was going to hurt us in ways that we would all just have to bare alone, and that, made me weak in the knees.

I felt this need to give people the space to explain how they were dealing with the pandemic, so I decided to reach out to different people and ask, “how has COVID-19 affected your life?” I didn’t care how they answered. I didn’t care how much they said. I didn’t care what they talked about. I just wanted to hear. I wanted to listen to what was going on behind closed doors.

People would ask me, “what’s this for?” and I had no answer. I had no idea what I was going to do with their stories. I just knew I needed to give people a place to explain them. There are times when structure and order mean nothing and emotion, unity, and a listening ear mean everything. That’s all I knew. So I went with it.

What follows are excerpts from friends and family, near and far, who shared some of their stories with me almost a full year ago at this point.

“Every Australian is in the same boat at the moment, we don’t have a high number of confirmed cases compared to bigger countries, 3143 is the current number, but it still scares me. I’m worried for my family, my friends and for the world. A month ago I was looking forward to a cruise with my family, not a care in the world, and now everything is different… I’m honestly struggling to come to terms with everything. I can’t imagine what it must be like for everyone else.”

“Currently, the United Kingdom is in a full lockdown. This means we are allowed outside for essentials only… My brother who currently resides in New York contracted the virus in Early March and fortunately has recovered fully, no one else I know has had the virus. I myself have volunteered for the NHS delivering supplies to those who are vulnerable”

“Today is March 24th, 2020 and officially marks one week of being in isolation… It is also four days from my 23rdbirthday… I do not have much of a choice other than to stay home and have some cake… Fast forward to my birthday and it turned out to be one I will never forget. I was overwhelmed with texts, calls, FaceTimes, videos of my favorite tiny humans singing to me, the list goes on… Turns out you really don’t need anything besides love and well wishes to make any day a good one and I am beyond thankful and blessed to be able to enjoy my birthday happy, healthy, and extremely loved.”

“Someday soon the hospitals will empty out, the temporary facilities will close.. The restaurants will reopen, the stadiums will be roaring, and the schools will be buzzing with eager students. Things will mellow out to our new normal but we as a people will not be left unscathed. A generation of people is emerging that will hug their friends a bit too long to make up for some lost time.”

“Maybe this is exactly what we needed to see what the world was truly capable of. As we put together all of our talents to culminate a community who works together to fight this we see that we are living to our true potential. This is so liberating.”

“And on April 4th, I said goodbye to my father as he moved out of our house to distance himself from me. I felt as if I was going to war but it was his life on the line, not mine.”

“We as a human race really need to remember that the purpose of life is not just to work... enjoy these beautiful trees and beautiful air and nature and that quality time you’re ‘forced’ to spend with your children.”

“Many of our medical units have an abundance of empty rooms. We are waiting. Waiting for the rooms to inevitably fill up… I hear a rumor that I may have to start sleeping in the hospital. I think about how it will affect me, not being able to leave work… from making sure nothing goes left undone, from making sure no one dies on my watch… I keep trying to bring the light, we all try to bring the light. We will get through this together.”

I wish I could attach every person’s response in its entirety. I wish I could let each one shine through, so that my hand-selection of sentences didn’t overshadow all else that was stated.

I read through (and listened) to the responses sent to me and couldn’t help but notice that every person, at one point or another, regarded someone else or everyone else.

Every person who participated knew what the prompt was: “How has Covid-19 affected your life?” I wanted to hear their stories. I wanted people to feel like they had some form of connection in a world sitting in complete isolation, even if it were just for a few moments in time.

Regardless, everyone talked about other people. How people were showing up for them, how they were showing up for others in need. This symbiotic relationship of I need you and you need me was oozing from each response.

I think for a lot of people this pandemic showed us how much and how badly we actually need each other. It was the first time we had to feed off any and all energy that was given, knowing that physically being with one another was out of the question.

We felt it when cities would designate a specific time each day to thanking healthcare workers. When every concert, festival, and public gathering was canceled to literally save lives. When entire towns would line up every day to drive by someone’s house to wish them a happy birthday.

We are programmed to love. To be there for one another. To risk our entire lives to save someone else. To connect even in times of destruction, uncertainty, and demise.

I want this aggregation of responses to highlight one very important thing: we may live this life separately and independently from the people around us, but behind closed doors, in the shadows of our own homes, we share love and we share pain with the rest of humanity.

I want to thank each person who wrote me one sentence or a five-page essay (I got multiple). Your stories are valuable, they’re important, and I read through (or listened) to each one. I wish I had the opportunity to ask every person this question back in March 2020, but I’m just grateful the ones who shared their love and pain with me, did just that.

Here’s to finding the silver lining in every storm.