We all know what it’s like to have a recurring thought, story, experience, or conversation play on repeat in our heads. They might keep you awake at night, cause you mental pain, stop you from engaging with certain people… or it might be the catalyst behind beginning something new.
For a while now, I’ve been constantly thinking about the concept of relativity, and not the one Albert Einstein theorized. I’ve been thinking a lot about how what we do, think, feel, want, and accept is relative to what and who is readily around us. At times, there’s a positive correlation between how you live your life and how others around you live theirs. If you seek like-minded individuals with similar interests, hobbies, and values, you can create a community for yourself where you naturally grow and thrive. Other times, if what you want is unaligned to those around you, then you start to feel the effects of living in a limited space (mentally and/or physically).
I want to point out that there is a difference between uncomfortable situations that will help you grow and uncomfortable situations that will slowly weigh you down. If you’re having difficulty trying to figure out which one you’re in, ask yourself if the end product of what you’re doing is worth it. If you’re in nursing school and the exams, clinical, and classes are overwhelmingly challenging, ask yourself if being a nurse at the end of all of it is worth the amount of studying you’re doing. If you’re learning how to play the guitar, ask yourself if being able to read music and play any song you want is worth the hours of messing up. If you’re trying your hardest to be a good friend to someone who does not appreciate or see value in who you are, ask yourself if having one-sided relationships is worth it in the long-run for the kind of energy you’re currently exerting.
Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve been thinking about relativity a lot lately. I watch as people in my life settle for what they want because it’s not in the general vicinity of where they are. People who have potential beyond belief and who lock it away to continue living in their current state just to keep the peace. I am well aware that there are situations in which we need to ride out for financial or emotional reasons. There are times when what we want has to be put on the back-burner because there are pressing issues we need to deal with. I have lived through those times, too.
However, there are so many people who settle for what they want because of the little things that they’re told throughout their lives that chip away at their confidence.
“Don’t be silly, that won’t ever happen.”
“Let’s be realistic.”
“How are you going to do that?”
“Aren’t you scared?”
“What’s your plan b if that fails?”
“I can’t imagine doing that, but good luck.”
… and the list goes on and on.
Most people are inquisitive simply because they’re curious, but there are times people will make comments or ask condescending questions about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. These are the moments when the concept of relativity need to be at the forefront of your mind.
If they have not seen, heard, or done it themselves, there’s a chance they’re projecting their own insecurities and limitations onto you. And that is simply not for you to carry.
To put this into a really clear explanation, let’s use gas prices as an example. If you’re used to paying around $2.20 a gallon for gas, you’re gonna be inclined to think seeing it at a station for $2 is cheap. For someone who doesn’t live near you and usually pays $1.80 for a gallon, $2 for that person is expensive. It’s all relative to what you’re usually around.
The same is true for the people you surround yourself with and the places you find yourself in. You are more or less a product of the five closest people you are surrounded by. If you are constantly around rather lazy, negative, unmotivated, draining people, you will unintentionally absorb those tendencies and mentalities, if you are not consciously aware of them. On the flip, if you are around active, positive, inspiring, uplifting people, you will feel the effects of their energy and probably pick up some of their habits.
I want to stress how important it is to be around people and in an environment that helps you live to your fullest potential. Whether you join online communities, a gym, a book club, make new friends, or simply cut-back on the time you spend with people who aren’t pushing you to be your best, this will reinforce that what you want is possible.
It doesn’t matter where you want to go, who you want to show up as, or how you want to live your life, if it makes sense to you, do not skimp out on your desires because someone is doubting your decisions. My biggest piece of advice to anyone in this situation is to put yourself in the position where people are actively doing what you want to be doing, and it’s not considered crazy, it is considered normal. That is where you will see a positive correlation between how you live your life and how others around you live theirs.
Just getting better and better !