Let this story sink in:
A man and his son are riding a horse when they realize the saddle is uncomfortable. They decide to take turns riding the horse into each town they pass through, one at a time. In the first town, the man rode the horse while the son walked. People thought, "How inconsiderate of the father to let his son walk while he rides on the horse." In the next town, the son rode the horse while the father walked. People thought, "How inconsiderate of the son to ride the horse. He's young and should be walking." In the last town, the saddle caused so much discomfort that they both walked. People thought, "How stupid are they? They have a horse, yet neither of them are riding it."
Moral of the story: People will generate their own stories of you. Never let those stories become yours.
It is so easy for people to judge where we are on our journeys, what we’re doing, and how we’re doing it. We catch glimpses and snippets of someone’s progress, words, or actions, and fill in the blanks based on heresy and misconceptions. I use the word “we” because people will do this to you, but there have been times you’ve also done this to other people. It is natural to find yourself rounding out a story and wanting all the bits of information to see how it adds up. We like when everything feels “whole”— that’s just how we’re wired.
No one will ever know all the details surrounding what you’re doing, and even if someone does, that person will never feel or see things the way you do. So, if you want to stay true to yourself and committed to success, you have to learn how to let go of other people’s opinions.
When I started this blog, I was apprehensive about how it would be perceived.
Would people think it was weird?
Would my blog posts be thrown around in other people’s group messages?
Would there be people who thought this was corny?
I probably would have started a blog years ago if it weren’t for my fear of people judging me. It was with time, maturity, and experience that I realized the answer to those questions is yes. I don’t have to even guess— it’s a firm, solid yes. Someone out there is going to think this blog is weird and corny. Someone is going to screen shot something I write and scrutinize it, but those couldn’t be the reasons I didn’t start one.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you are never going to please every single person you come across. That’s just never going to happen. Someone is going to doubt you, judge you, not like you, overlook you, or just not care for what you have to offer. There’s no use in getting caught up in how other people view you or what you do because I can guarantee that someone, somewhere isn’t a fan— and that’s perfectly fine.
If you tailor yourself and your journey to each critic out there, you’ll lose yourself in the meantime, which is way more harmful than accepting the fact that someone doesn’t fancy you. (Do people still say that? Don’t answer that one, please).
To be frank, I don’t think we necessarily have to convince ourselves that what other people think doesn’t matter. People are going to have strong opinions about us for the rest of our lives. I think we have to accept the fact that we are not going to be liked by everyone, so when we are in a situation where someone voices a strong opinion about us, we don’t shatter who we are for their satisfaction.
Lately, I’ve been learning how to stop feeding my need to protect the fragile parts of life and instead just accept the hard parts.
Instead of trying to make certain things perfect, I’ve learned to accept imperfection.
Instead of letting others’ opinions get to me, I’ve learned to accept not being fancied. (Okay, I’ll stop).
Instead of being nervous about making the wrong move, I’ve learned to accept I’m going to make mistakes.
It’s really hard to feel like you have it all together and keep everything in-line. Once you shift your mindset to, “The hard parts of life are going to happen to me. I am not immune to them,” you learn how to roll with the punches in a healthier way.
Much like with anything I say or preach, this mental shift isn’t going to happen instantaneously, but the more you can recognize and call out some of your own behaviors and thought patterns, the easier it will become to transition them.
At the end of the day, the townspeople are going to judge you for a million and one reasons. Gossip brings people together, and as unfortunate as that is, it’s simply the truth. Instead of trying to control what other people think or say, just accept that someone, somewhere is judging you, and ride your damn horse anyway… or don’t— either way, the option should always be up to you.
Comments