In high school, I started getting big into YouTube. I began watching, learning from, and exploring other people’s lives from the comfort of my own home. One girl I used to follow (and still sometimes check in on) was so opposite of who I was. She lived in Hawaii, quit college, had dreadlocks, was a raw vegan, and preached the fruitiest content ever. To be honest, I have no idea what made me first click on her account, but nonetheless, I started tuning into all of her videos. She would do things like not shave, not use shampoo, not wear makeup, not do basically everything I did and still do today, and I was still fascinated by her.
Luckily, I’ve had a pretty curious mindset for most of my life. I see different lifestyles and choices as the expression of personal desires. The reason I was so fascinated by her was not because she chose to be hairy but rather by her choice to question everything I just accepted as “normal”. Not once before stumbling upon her account did I question why I shaved, why I used shampoo, why I wore makeup. I just accepted that as normal because that’s what society taught me to do. It made me realize that we all do certain things we probably never think twice about because we’ve adopted the ways of everyone around us. Here was this girl who was nothing like me at all, going against the status quo, and not caring whatsoever what other people thought. I was and still am so grateful I found her and was able to learn that:
Differences in opinions and lifestyles are perfectly fine
Question everything… not to be defiant but to thoroughly understand
Every one of her videos had a singular core message: growth is vital. My lifestyle didn’t align to hers, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t learn about myself through learning from her. Above all else, she taught me how to question. All throughout my schooling I had been taught how to answer questions on tests, in class, and on homework. Very, very rarely are we taught how to question, but finding her account helped me to take an extra step and ask if what I’m doing is aligned to who I am.
I learned that sometimes I have to question entire industries, companies, societies, but what I learned most was that I had to question myself, too. The thing about questioning yourself is that you always have to do it if you want to grow and push yourself to be the best version of you. Answers may vary from person to person, but the beauty in that is you do what’s right for you.
With all of that said, I will probably never stop shaving, never have dreads, never do half the things she did. I just now know why I do what I do. I also know that if I ever stop doing anything I do currently or anyone around me stops doing what they’re doing, that’s simply growth in visible form.
So, this is just me saying that if you want to start over, be someone you haven’t shown to people yet, go deeper into who you are, I’d love to say you have full permission, but the truth is, you’ve never needed it. You will never need it either. People who love you for who you are will support you no matter what, and if you have no one in your life who you think will support you in the transition to being more you, then I promise that you will start attracting them. There is nothing in this life you can lose from being you.
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