If you’ve ever prepped for an interview by running through a list of potential questions that could be asked of you, you’ve probably seen, "Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?" in the mix. It’s a rather standard question that interviewers like to throw out to hear how you respond. They’re mostly looking to see if you have goals, dreams, or an actionable plan for the future. It also helps interviewers determine if you are proactive, forward-thinking, and ambitious. A lot is nestled into that one question, to say the least.
There is also something I do not like nestled into, “Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?”
If someone had asked me this question back in high school or even before that, I would have probably said, “I hope to have a great job, be married or in a serious relationship, live in a big house, and just be happy.”
I’ll be the first to say that there is nothing wrong with anything I just stated. I still want most, if not all, of those things one day.
What I don’t like about that answer is that it’s dependent upon a timeline that I unquestionably adopted. I viewed the majority of society’s timeline as, “Okay get a good job out of college, find the perfect guy shortly after, buy a nice house, and smile through it all.”
I am well aware that life does not always go according to plan. That’s not a pessimistic viewpoint— it’s an optimistic one.
Had I stuck to my 5-10 year plan back in high school, I would not be where I am today. I thought that I’d go to college, get a business degree, and move up the ladder of some corporate company year after year until I reached a point that was financially freeing.
Honestly, thank God I had it all wrong. Thank God I steered myself off that course and disrupted my own trajectory. I would have been absolutely miserable if I didn’t stop and question what the heck I was doing it all for.
“Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?” is not only robbing us of the present, it also puts pressure on following a plan that 9/10 times won’t happen step-by-step.
If I had followed the timeline that I originally had, I’d be way behind. Behind what? I don’t even know. There is just one of me. I am not racing against anyone or anything, so to think that I was “ahead”, “behind”, or even “on track”, is mind-boggling to me now.
If you trade timelines for circumstances, I can guarantee it will make a difference. I don’t have a date or a year or a projection for when I need anything to transpire. When I try to micromanage and control what I think I should be doing, I cause an unnecessary amount of stress and urgency within myself. That does me no good.
I think it’s a lot more liberating to view our future endeavors situationally. For example, we can reframe our original goals to:
“When I find the right fit, I’ll take the right job,” instead of, “I’ll get a good job right out of school.”
“I’ll get married when I meet the man I’m excited to spend my life with,” instead of, “I’ll meet my husband within a few years of graduating college.”
“I’ll move into a house when I’m ready to build a permanent home,” instead of, “I’ll move into a house when I’m 25.”
I believe switching our goals to circumstances from timelines gives us a better ability to live in the present. It enables us to think about what we can do today to embody the person we want to wake up as tomorrow. We focus on what is healthy, exciting, and challenging for us in this moment and follow what it leads to. I myself try not to get stuck in any rigid plan as that blocks me from seeing alternate routes that actually may be more promising or better suited for my journey.
I say all this because I was the person who had it all planned out. I know firsthand how it feels to be so afraid of divergence that it causes physical illness. There are most definitely people who thrive in routine, structure, and agendas; I am still that person to a degree. I also know now that trying to plan out and control my life down to every last detail is extremely unhealthy. The extremist in me wants order. The girl who wants to actually enjoy life knows that I need leniency.
I also want to point out something important. “Being happy” is what a lot of people stick onto the end of their answer to, “Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?” I tend to think that’s added as a fail-safe for if our visions don’t manifest down the line. It’s almost like saying, “Well, if none of that actually comes true, I hope, at the very least, I’m happy.”
“Being happy” shouldn’t be dependent upon achieving goals. It shouldn’t rely on anything other than your mindset. I refuse to reserve happiness for when everything falls into place. I am not hoping and praying that if I don’t reach my goals, at the very least I’m happy. I will choose happiness even if I fail. I’ll choose it whether or not I live in a big house. I’ll choose it whether or not I ever work my “dream job”. I will choose happiness today and as frequently as I can in the future.
To wrap this rant up, I’ll add that I’ve never been asked, “Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?” in a formal interview, but if I’m ever asked that question, you betcha bottom dollar I’m responding with, “I have no idea, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
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